Learn to say No
How many times do you say YES to new projects and tasks at your workplace even though you know you should say No instead? It might be clear from the beginning that you will not be able to finish said project on time. Or you miss resources that enable you to deliver great work. You might feel obligated to take up more work for whatever reason. The result? High level of stress, decreased performance and poorly delivered work. And you might even feel hostile against your job – all bad outcomes.
Just imagine: instead of saying automatically “yes”, take up a serious conversation with your boss or co-worker around the deliverables, time frame, etc. You discover all the important information around the new task, negotiate to find the best way to handle the project and then make a conscious decision to say Yes or No to it.
The same principles apply in your private life, too. If you are asked to organize a school event during a stressful time at the office – feel free to say No or negotiate it.
We often cause ourselves a lot of stress when we feel obligated to say yes to everyone all the time. We feel as though saying “no” is rude. But we all have a limited number of hours in the day and we can’t do everything we’re asked.
Try offering alternative solutions, or even just saying you can’t do it right now. Yes, it’s direct but you probably feel worse saying it than the recipient feels hearing it (as long as you say it nicely!)
Trying to be someone else?
Saying no is difficult as we learn early in life that we are supposed to say yes and take up more than we can handle.
Our whole life if full with these “supposed” behaviors. Our parents tell us early on how we are supposed to talk, play, sleep, eat, etc. Then school shows how we are supposed to learn and behave as part of groups. And it doesn’t stop until our last day.
It is so easy to forget who you are really. What true talents and strength do you have? How would you like to live? What is the best way to share your talents with the world? Maybe you have forgotten all the answers…
What if you began exploring your truth? What if you started being yourself?
Just tiny little steps of showing up as the real you will make you happier. If you always had a passion for fashion – why don’t you add a few fashionable accessories to your office attire? You don’t have to look like you just left the Milan runway and still make a statement about loving fashion. If you dream about writing short stories – why don’t you declare a 2-hour writing date every weekend?
We are all different, isn’t just beautiful? We’re not meant to be the same and we all have different destinies. Getting closer to yours might be challenging at first, but it will make you happier at the end.